Monthly Archives: June 2014

How we make Inferences

What are inferences? When we’re engaged in conversation, we use inferences to fill in missing information that isn’t explicitly stated by the other person. Inferences help us to make sense of what we are hearing, but can also lead to misunderstanding and miscommunication. Why are inferences important to the way we communicate? When we are reading text, we usually have

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Why we are Biased and How

What’s a cognitive bias? Cognitive biases are essentially thinking habits. They are tendencies to filter inputs through our own experience and opinions. The list of cognitive biases that are recognized by psychologists is so long that it runs into pages. We all operate biases, and they fulfill an important role, but they can also inhibit our ability to have fulfilling

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Patching Things Up after Rows

Conflicts are an inevitable part of any relationship. Without making any excuses for poor conduct, we have to accept that conversation can be a chaotic business and doesn’t unfold in straight lines. As such, it would be ridiculous to imagine that we’re going to get all of our conversations right. After an argument, people have different ways of patching things

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What makes your Partner Tick?

The starting point for any investigation into how your partner ticks must be the recognition that their needs and motivations may not be the same as yours. This is very straightforward to recognize in principle, but much harder in practice. 1. Dealing with differences. Let’s imagine that you’re someone who is action-oriented and wants people to get to the point. You appreciate

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Setting Clear Boundaries

There’s no doubt that children need boundaries. Knowing what’s acceptable – and what isn’t – allows them to learn how to co-exist in family, social and school environments. The difficulty of course is that most children are wired to test these boundaries to the limit. In many ways this is a thoroughly healthy process in the sense that the child

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